Generations

Are differences among generations insurmountable?

Jean Zorn publishes Persimmon Tree, an online magazine. She recently invited her subscribers to share their thoughts about generational differences. She wrote, “Is there indeed a difference between the thinking and communicating of older women and that of younger generations? How would you describe that difference? And to what would you ascribe it? Persimmon Tree is entirely by women over 60, but we would like it to be to and for everyone. Is that a reasonable goal? Is it a good one? If so, how do we achieve it, especially if the languages we speak, the perspectives we inhabit, the goals we seek, are so different as to be untranslatable?”

These are thought-provoking questions. Perhaps my readers will be interested in my response:

Dear Jean,

As I age—sometimes not so gracefully—I often consider this topic, albeit in a less gender-specific manner.

I do believe there is a significant difference between older and younger people in their thought processes and communication habits. Although the “whys” and “hows” can be diverse and sometimes quite complex, I think the common denominator boils down to perspective. We oldsters have simply been around longer—long enough to have accumulated a lot of experience that has shaped our attitudes, how we think, and how we communicate. We’ve learned some lessons the hard way; other times we’ve been lucky. Our individual constitutions and personalities determine how we respond to these experiences. Some of us become bitter and grumpy; others perhaps rueful, but wiser and willing to share what we’ve learned.

Yes, the languages we speak and the perspectives we inhabit may differ greatly among generations, but I don’t believe the goals we pursue are so far apart as to be untranslatable. Human goals to me seem universal:

• Survival and security—staying alive, safe, sheltered, and healthy.
• Connection and belonging—forming bonds, being valued, loving and being loved.
• Autonomy and agency—having control over one’s choices, direction, and identity.
• Competence and mastery—developing skills, solving problems, improving oneself.
• Meaning and purpose—understanding one’s place, contributing to something larger.
• Joy and well‑being—seeking pleasure, beauty, comfort, and emotional balance.
• Legacy and continuity—leaving something behind: knowledge, children, impact, stories.

One key to reaching across the generational divide involves translating our perspectives into the language of upcoming generations in a way that resonates with their current challenges and thought processes. Today’s younger generations are not the first to face serious trials and tribulations, and they won’t be the last. They may find comfort in realizing that they are not alone, that older generations value them, and that a path forward together exists.

That’s easier said than done, I know. We must avoid lecturing: “We’re older and wiser, so you need to listen to us.” Instead, start where they are. Identify things that are right about that generation and build together on common goals, one at a time. Despite the naysayers during these turbulent times, we can think of it as an opportunity to work together and build bonds.

So yes, your goal of having Persimmon Tree be to and for everyone seems good and reasonable. At the same time, a caveat: I think of the book marketing advice I often hear: “trying to reach everyone means reaching no one.” Maybe targeting “everyone” a slice at a time would make sense. “This might not be for you” invites readers to ask the question of themselves: “Is it for me?”

Kindest regards,

Sandy

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